A Halloween Afternoon
This was, and remains, my favorite holiday, sort of the culmination of my favorite month. It was cold today but sunny and there is still much foliage and color. I will not be decorating or giving out treats this year, but that's okay. Next year we will be in Valparaiso and in an area that has tons of children and many of the houses go all out for the season. It'll be fun.
We had a marvelous time on Sunday, as we were able to get into the new house for the afternoon to do measurements and to just get the feel of the place some more. We have a pretty good idea of what room will serve which function, where our existing furniture will fit, who gets what closet, etc., and how to deal with the kitchen in its current state, as doing an overhaul is out of the question until this house sells. But the energy of the location and the layout of the place is so encouraging. Even on a Sunday afternoon it had the feeling of a "real town", in Steve's words, cars and pedestrians with places to go, and people of all ages. Afterwards we met up with Nick and Amy and we all went out for Chinese food. Nick did the driving and it was so cool to be gadding about in town on a Sunday night, where there were many window-shoppers amongst people coming and going to restaurants and the ice cream parlor, and all of it within the same neighborhood. The kids live and work within walking distance of our new house. It amazes me that this is happening, soon to be everyday life in a mere five weeks!
Today was nonetheless a good Halloween. I've been in touch with my pals from 'way back, and negotiating with a favorite young artist about buying this house. If he and his wife are able to do it, it will make us feel that this place will be in good hands, and what we've done here will continue on, a sort of legacy of art and gardens. I hope it does indeed work out.
Things are Taking Shape
The day after the previous post we had an appointment with the bank to talk finances, both of us expecting very little in the way of room to maneuver. To our surprise we had room indeed, so we have gone ahead and set the date for closing on the new house, regardless of the selling status on this one. It will be difficult to make ends meet, granted, but it will also be easier physically. My legs have had it with all of these stairs and the hill, and trying to live and work in this place while keeping it show-ready is just too much. Steve is ready to get back into the swing of things, and he can take advantage of moving and setting up during the holiday season, when nothing much happens in the way of work and be ready to go in January.
I am trying to land a part-time job somewhere, in order to have a little extra income during the time we have both houses. This means really working my list of contacts for all its worth, but of course I know there are no guarantees because of my deafness. I do know that I will do some paintings during the coming month, mid-size paintings that most people can afford and are able to fit on their limited wall space. We have set the final day for the gallery forward a week, to the 2nd of December, now that we know we will be moving during the weekend of the 9th. I might actually be able to sell a few more things, which will greatly help matters. Every job-advice article and website I've read tries to give a positive spin on deaf employment prospects, and "artist" is always in the list of "things the deaf can do." Sigh. As we all know, work does not necessarily equal making a good living.
How much should one rely on faith and confidence, and at what point is it self-delusion? I know I'm not completely deluded because I sell faster than I can paint, but I also know a lot of that is because my prices are attractive and accessible. People will part with their money for art that they like, but most of them don't have much money to part with in the first place. It's called the Market. But as a deaf person who has done everything possible to be employable in a manner suitable to my skills and temperament, I also need to place myself in the hands of Life itself. I indulge in thinking that God will help me realize my God-given talent and to survive, because God also made me deaf, limiting my options to do otherwise. Yet I've seen time and again how others go about thinking the same thing and come to very bad ends.
Somewhere in here I am being stupid or uninformed or not thorough enough, a sensation similar to "not being able to put one's finger on it." I'm sure I am meant to be doing this, the art thing and the house thing, but both are sort of on a wing and a prayer. But hey, I got together with Steve in much the same way, and I have learned to trust that gut feeling because it hasn't failed me yet. So I go forward with it because it is what I can do, and there is no point in freezing in place out of fear. I spent far too many years in fear of this and fear of that and lost much valuable time for both art and just plain living. I'll do what I can to minimize the risk, but taking the risk is critical.
That's How Long It's Been?
Hello, Blog. Still here in the old house, haven't sold it yet, not getting the house described in the last post, but found an even better one and our offer was accepted on contingency of selling this one first. It's on a corner lot, very close to the downtown area and in the historical district. Built in 1920, it's a one-story classic revival that has been completely updated except for the plumbing, which we'll sort out when we get there. It is zoned both commercial and residential, so Steve can hang a sign for his work. It's even within walking distance of Nick and Amy's place. It's in Valparaiso, a thriving community, and very supportive of small businesses like ours.
This past weekend we held the final opening reception for the gallery. When people first started to arrive, it suddenly hit me very hard that this was the last time, and I cried like a baby. Quite a few others cried, too. The gallery will be missed. But it was a good show, a good party, and we even made a small profit. It was good to go out with a bang. The last business day for the gallery will be December 9th, after which all the art goes back to the artists and we shut down the credit card service. I am hoping, however, that we will be out of here and in the new house by then.
It has been impossible to paint. There have been so many little things to replace and repair and so much sorting and tossing and cleaning during the past six weeks, plus setting up the last show (over 120 pieces of art to display and label), that I haven't had the time or energy or spirit left to paint. I wanted so badly to have something done for the last show, but it was not going to happen. Not painting is getting to me, and making me feel seriously out of whack, even more than this limbo of waiting for a buyer.
However, we have gone just about as far as we can with fixing up the house and sorting through 15 years' worth of accumulated stuff. Now it is just maintaining its show-worthy appearance, which we've got down to a science. I think I might actually be able to get lost in a canvas quite soon. Even if all I end up painting is a series of "limbo" images, that's okay. It's October, and the leaves are still turning in the ravine and the light is golden even on an overcast day. I love to paint in October.
Last year I participated in the National Novel Writing Month, which is November, and was planning to do it again this year. I still want to, but am not likely to. I think I will stick to painting and drawing this time, to build up my stock for next year.
We each have new websites, as Steve has changed his business name and I have one under my own name for my art, since we will be shutting down the gallery site. I am seriously thinking of adding a link to this blog on the new website. An artist's site can afford to be more personal than a business or gallery site, and it seems like a natural thing to do in this day and age.
My parents are going to need me more and more, so moving to Valparaiso will bring me much closer to them. Smaller house, fewer rings in the circus--it's exactly what is needed at this time of changes. I'm going to miss this place, where I raised my son and started out with Steve, the gardens and the gallery, the beach and the people, but I'm also looking forward to the things I'm going to have when we move.
If nothing else, it's going to be interesting!
