Things are Taking Shape

The day after the previous post we had an appointment with the bank to talk finances, both of us expecting very little in the way of room to maneuver. To our surprise we had room indeed, so we have gone ahead and set the date for closing on the new house, regardless of the selling status on this one. It will be difficult to make ends meet, granted, but it will also be easier physically. My legs have had it with all of these stairs and the hill, and trying to live and work in this place while keeping it show-ready is just too much. Steve is ready to get back into the swing of things, and he can take advantage of moving and setting up during the holiday season, when nothing much happens in the way of work and be ready to go in January.

I am trying to land a part-time job somewhere, in order to have a little extra income during the time we have both houses. This means really working my list of contacts for all its worth, but of course I know there are no guarantees because of my deafness. I do know that I will do some paintings during the coming month, mid-size paintings that most people can afford and are able to fit on their limited wall space. We have set the final day for the gallery forward a week, to the 2nd of December, now that we know we will be moving during the weekend of the 9th. I might actually be able to sell a few more things, which will greatly help matters. Every job-advice article and website I've read tries to give a positive spin on deaf employment prospects, and "artist" is always in the list of "things the deaf can do." Sigh. As we all know, work does not necessarily equal making a good living.

How much should one rely on faith and confidence, and at what point is it self-delusion? I know I'm not completely deluded because I sell faster than I can paint, but I also know a lot of that is because my prices are attractive and accessible. People will part with their money for art that they like, but most of them don't have much money to part with in the first place. It's called the Market. But as a deaf person who has done everything possible to be employable in a manner suitable to my skills and temperament, I also need to place myself in the hands of Life itself. I indulge in thinking that God will help me realize my God-given talent and to survive, because God also made me deaf, limiting my options to do otherwise. Yet I've seen time and again how others go about thinking the same thing and come to very bad ends.

Somewhere in here I am being stupid or uninformed or not thorough enough, a sensation similar to "not being able to put one's finger on it." I'm sure I am meant to be doing this, the art thing and the house thing, but both are sort of on a wing and a prayer. But hey, I got together with Steve in much the same way, and I have learned to trust that gut feeling because it hasn't failed me yet. So I go forward with it because it is what I can do, and there is no point in freezing in place out of fear. I spent far too many years in fear of this and fear of that and lost much valuable time for both art and just plain living. I'll do what I can to minimize the risk, but taking the risk is critical.